Tuesday, March 30, 2010

At least I listen

and don't just shoot down whatever you say. I hate you. I hate you i hate you I hate you I HATE YOU!
God why do I have to love you so damn much?
You drive me insane.
you are so far up your ass.
It doesn't matter how many fights we get in, at the end of the day I still love you.

I tried to tell Anton what I thought of his drinking and smoking and shit and he told me I was exagerating! Fucking stupid douche! AAAAAAAH!!!!!
Now I'm crying. Great. I hope your happy.

I told him I would just kill whatever happiness he had. he didn't listen. Good job.

So selfish and hypocritical and stupid and shallow and AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God dammit, what the hell is wrong with you?
Is it ok for you to hurt yourself now?
And you were so against it when I do it.

I'm going to calm down and listen to music or something...

1 comment:

  1. First off: <3 <3 <3
    Second: when I said you were exaggerating was when you sent me the text saying I smoke or drink "every day"... seriously!? I do maybe 2 or 3 times a month each.
    And of course I’m not happy you are crying.

    The reason I am so against YOU drinking is cuz when you were talking about it you were going to do it alone, which follows an alcoholic’s behavior. It’s ok in small amounts, far apart and with good friends. Alcohol also has a much bigger negative effect on younger people. And I know you hate the younger argument, and I’m not talking about maturity level, you are plenty mature to do it. Physically however it is harder on you and may cause problems down the road and if that happened I’d never forgive myself.
    As far as the hookah on my part, it isn’t often, it isn’t much and it’s not 1/10 as harmful as other tobacco products.
    As far as your cutting, yes it isn’t life threatening, but its symbolic of suicide and without you, my life would be so much worse. You are one of my best friends and should anything like that happen to you I may not be able to go on, that’s why it bugs me so much.

    I am doing what I do in moderation and very carefully. I know it’s hard for you to see that, but I think I make some very valid points as to why you shouldn’t, and I’m not saying I should either. I’m just saying it is either physically or figuratively more harmful for you to do it. I know I shouldn’t, and I have also decided to stop after graduation.

    I love you, so be happy. I hope I have explained myself and don’t think I wasn’t listening, you were just too angry earlier and it was too much for either of us to handle.
    <3 Anton