UGH!

I'm totally going crazy. Yesterday I was walking home and I almost started crying.

I shadowed at another highschool yesterday but I didn't like it too much so I'm not going there. I'm still really hoping I can go to the first highschool I shadowed at. I really should be doing homework because I'm REALLY far behind but it's freaking boring!

I'm in a really bad mood. I'm SUPER pissed at myself even though there's really no reason to be. Well I guess I do but whatever? I dunno. Maybe.

I came REALLY close to drinking last night but then I decided not to. I don't know about tonight though. As long as my aunt and uncle are here it would be really super easy...

Plus I kinda started cutting again. I don't want to but I do want to at the same time. Does that make any sense? Or maybe I'm just crazy. Hell, I am crazy.

My teacher is being a crazy bitch again. Today Cindy's (hahahaha I laugh whenever I type that name XD) mom didn't email the principle something soon enough and Angela starts bitching at her because apperantly she was supposed to sit down and like, make sure her emailed it. serioiusly? Imo, thats bullshit.

Then at lunch today, john was defending Angela. I know that it's partly my fault for getting behind, but she still gives us way too much homework. We have like, 5 big assignments in language arts and in math we have a test, a portfolio piece and we are still getting assigned lessons, and we have a big project in Spanish, CE, Science and History. I'm not doing so well.

But enough of my complaining haha
I am very tired. I really should go work on Spanish.... But I'm lazy haha
So yeah.

Songs that always cheers me up when I'm sad:
Mad world, Adam Lambert (I know it's a cover but he is gorgeous)
Pop goes the camera, Adam Lambert
Any P!ATD (Panic! At the disco)
Livin on a prayer, Bon Jovi
Lady Gaga (even though her clothing style bugs me)
Music again, Adam Lambert
Aftermath, Adam Lambert
Any Adam except whataya want from me because that one makes me sad.
Banana pancakes, Jack Johnson
Lucky, Jason Mraz featureing Colby Calliat
Any Jason Mraz really
and a LOT of others

That was a tad random, but I'm listening to music now and I'm not quite as murderous. :)

I REALLY should get to work. So bye bye!
Lots of love,
ittyK