Sunday, February 7, 2010

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”

Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche.

How does one earn trust? I don't know. I don't make people earn it, I just give it to them. My fatal flaw. Even if they prove to be untrustworthy I trust them. Until they hurt me too much. Then I throw them out. I hurt them back. I tell myself it was them, but I know it was me.
And when you trust someone with your life, what do you do when you find out they don't trust you? I'm not talking about little things, like who they like, but big things. Big life-changing things. And they've been keeping it from you. Do you still trust them? They should trust you too, but they didn't hurt you, they just don't trust you.
I'm tired. Thinking in circles. Sick. Cold. Confused. Angry. Hurt. Betrayed.
Why couldn't you tell me?
What did I do wrong?
Don't you know I would never hurt you?
Betray you?
But you did it to me....
I know you didn't want to. Thats what happens quite a bit. You've broken my heart too many times. I've forgiven you. But again and again, I know I should stop. I can't take the pain. But I can't.
I love you too much.
You say you love me too.
Why don't you prove it to me? Stop lying. Stop cheating. Stop hurting me.

Sorry. Ugh! I feel like shit. I have the worst allergies and they are REALLY acting up! plus my super-annoying super-strict parents took away my phone for a month. Why? I was eating chocolate in my room. I managed, though, to get it down to 2 weeks. That is, if I don't complain. I don't know how easy that would be for me. :-/

Yeah... I'm going to be done with my pointless ramblings... Thanks if you actually read what I post!



  1. That does seem a little odd, that something so trivial would warrant such a severe punishment. If your parents are that bad, then don't give them the satisfaction. Just take your lumps and leave it alone.


  2. your parents are RIDICULOUS. It bothers me a LOT.

  3. It's very awful, but I was talking to this girl and her friends parents file a missing persons report if he doesn't come home RIGHT after school or doesn't pick up the phone. That's pretty fucking ridiculous too, but... Whatever haha

  4. haha DAMN. thats ridiculous. parents should have to take a test to become parents.

  5. haha yeah..... i think itd be okay though.