Friday, May 14, 2010


It's pouring outside! Or, it was. Now it's just drizzling. I got soaking just walking from the car to my house and I'm really cold now but that's okay =]

I am having major mood swings from day-to-day. Two days ago I was miserable, yesterday I was insanely happy, and today I'm just pissed at everything.

I came really close to telling Anton something but then I chickened out, partly 'cuz I have no balls and partly because he's got a lot of shit going on and honestly doesn't need any more. I promised him I'd tell him later though....

So, yesterday I asked Quin if we were together or not. He said he liked me but he didn't consider us together.... I asked him because I wanted to know if I could go out with carmen or not.... I told her I was single and now we are kinda together, I guess, but she's still with someone. I told her not to break up with her girlfriend for me and not to hurt her, but Carmen had already told her about me so.... Yeah. I kinda feel half bad about that, but whatever. She knows what she needs to do. I think. I hope.

What else....


She left her ipod at my house and I was listening to it during my math test and a Jonas Brothers song came on and it made me really happy because she sings it all the time and so yeah. :D

I'm worried. About Anton and Abby and Leslie and John and Carmen and Quin and everybody.... I fucking HATE being empithetic! I'm always getting told how great of a gift it is but it ISN'T! I have to care about everyone even if I fucking hate them! I have no god damn choice! And half the time, I don't know what I'm feeling, just what other people are. AAAAGH! IT'S MADDENING!!!!

Um.... I don't think I ever said I stopped cutting on here.... I did, though! I'm very happy about this! And it's for real this time! And I won't start again! I stopped about a month and a half ago but whenever I post I always have other things on my mind so I forget but now I am saying it so it's all good :)

well, I have nothing left to say. Or that I can think of. Or that I would actualy say. So goodbye fellow people!
Or maybe you aren't people. I have no way of telling.

I love you!


  1. I knew it! Its wasn't your iPod! Ha!

    Though, I'm wondering, is 'John' just an example or are you really worried? If so, if you don't mind, why?

  2. I am just because he's seemed so.... wierd the last few days. He seems really sad and, despite his slight dick-ish-ness I really do think of him as a friend.
    just fyi...