I'm fucking insane, I've decided. And selfish and stupid and just a flat out bitch.
I hate feeling so.... replaceable. Bleh.
I went to Leslie's party on Saturday night and it was awful at first, because I knew nobody there except Rene and Leslie and Leslie.... I honest to god don't knwo why she invited us. She obviously didn't want us there. She was being a bitch about it too. Me and Rene stuck together though, and we made a new best friend EVER hahaha he was funny and we went on a quest to get a belt but it failed because it was too small and Rene is too fat (kidding! I <3 you!) and we went on a quest for Leslie that didn't fail and then we danced and talked and we went on an adventure to find his jacket. And at one point, my and Rene sat and we just talked about everything. We were probably talking for about an hour and then we met this other girl who convinced me to loosen up and go dance (she also told me to grab someones ball sack, but I didn't.) So thats what I did and it was really fun after that and I just kinda ignored Leslie and the other people I didn't knwo and acted like it was just me and Alex and we danced for forever it was SO fun!
I love Rene, though. Whenever everybody else fails to make me feel better she can ALWAYS make me smile. I trust her with my life and I tell her EVERYTHING and she doesn't make me feel like shit, even if I already do. She is the sweetest person ever and she always helps me open up and feel wanted and loved. AAAAAAGH! I LOVE HER GODAMN PANTS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I apologized to Anton. I kind of really overreacted, even though he did a little, too.
People told me not to blame myself. I can't blame anybody but myself. :(
I have to go now, but I may post again later!
I love you!