Tuesday, October 12, 2010


those were my emotions going boom. So much shit is happening!

You prolly already know I'm single again. I've been meaning to post but I have like no time to do so. Lots of shit is happening there and basically I really want him back but I'm waiting because he needs time to think. He was telling me last night that he's really stressed about a lot so I figure the best I can do is just be there for him and wait.

I talked to Anton last night.... didn't go so well. I'm less pissed at him now, and more pissed at myself.

"Okay. So everything has been so messed up for the longest time and this is the last straw i think but it's like he was a huge part of me then he was just gone and I kept blaming him but it's really both of our faults and i don't know if i can fill the part of me that's so empty now and i miss him so much but i don't miss what we are i miss what we were because we were so close but now it's just... Nothing. I hate it! I can't stand letting people go! And i know it might be for the best or whatever but it still hurts like hell... I wish things never changed! ever!"

that's what I said to Elsa last night... I don't know if any of it makes sense, but whatever.

So, that conversation with anton ended up with us still not talking and me crying my eyes out...

Anywho, yesterday afterschool I went to Gala's house with her and Ashleigh and got super fucked up and we ate frosting and made out and watched Road to Eldorado an had a lot of fun.

So my life has pretty much been stress, tears and school lately. woohoo.
Lots of love to all of you!
eat cake!
and fly!


  1. my apologies that you cried on account of the likes of me. I still think that our decision not to talk until we are in person is a good for the best. I do not know where things stand with your sister and I. There is no way to go back to how it was for the first 5 years of our friendship, which i am truly sad about, and miss. I dont know if what we have is repairable, but at the very least we will have 5 years of good memories.

  2. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. I agree though. I just... I don't want to have only memories left.
    I love you...