I will be strong for you.
I won't cry for you any more.
Because if I do then you'll be sad, too.
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I'll stop now.
I promise.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Life's percentage. (taken from Anton's Haus)
Start at 100% and subtract 1% for everything you’ve done.
1. Smoked.
2. Drank alcohol.
3. Cried when someone died.
4. Been drunk.
5. Had sex.
7. Been to a concert.
7. gotten/given a handjob.
8. gotten/given a blowjob.
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 90%
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or receieved a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 83%
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex’s house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done serious drugs.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 76%
31. Played strip poker/darts.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
40. Been in love.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 68%
41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 59%
51. Watched a person die
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someones room and/or your own room after being out.
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed goth.
59. Dressed preppy.
60. Been to a motocross race.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR; 52%
61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 42%
71. Got caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friends crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 46%
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you’d be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over or 3 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 38%
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.
Total: 30%
Oh god... Haha woops ^^;
1. Smoked.
2. Drank alcohol.
3. Cried when someone died.
4. Been drunk.
5. Had sex.
7. Been to a concert.
7. gotten/given a handjob.
8. gotten/given a blowjob.
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 90%
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or receieved a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 83%
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex’s house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done serious drugs.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 76%
31. Played strip poker/darts.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
40. Been in love.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 68%
41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 59%
51. Watched a person die
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someones room and/or your own room after being out.
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed goth.
59. Dressed preppy.
60. Been to a motocross race.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR; 52%
61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 42%
71. Got caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friends crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 46%
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you’d be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over or 3 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 38%
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.
Total: 30%
Oh god... Haha woops ^^;
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The boy, the girl, the end
They were the only ones who could make each other feel that way. She was beautiful and could have whoever she wanted. She chose him. He offered her everything, and could never stand to see her sad. His smile would light up her life. He was a brilliant student, and recieved a job offer from one of the highest after only a year in the academy. He was the best of the best, and she was right behind. But it was that man who pulled him up. The man whose touch turned everything dark. The man who never cared about anything except being on top. The boy accepted the dark man's request, but not for himself. It was always for her. He wished to make the world better. A world where he would never have to see her tears again. He knew she would have to hate him for his path, but he was willing to give it up. He promised himself he'd return to her. He knew she would forgive him once he explained everything. Even if he hated that man, he would keep her in mind. That man's course was the one he had to take for her. He went along with everything the man told him to do. When the time came, he ordered the one beneathe him to attack her, but not to kill her. He knew she would never forgive him until he could see her again. She didn't understand. She had done everything he'd ever wanted. Now it seemed as though he had betrayed her. Why would he do such a thing? Had he never loved her? Had every word he'd spoken been a lie? Her heart was broken, but she carried on. She could not let herself fall. She thought that if she could talk to him, she could bring him back. When the moment was right, she tried. He pushed her back. He didn't want her to get hurt by that terrible man. He knew that if she tried to help him, the man would hurt her. He wouldn't let her get hurt. She could never understand it. She didn't understand until the end. Until it was too late. She would have been able to bring him back, she thought. She knew. She would have been able to, but he had never left. He'd always been with her. And in the end he tried to rebel against that man. He saw that if he let the man go on, she would end up dead. He couldn't let that happen. He tried to steal the man's powers, and he thought he did. But then the man returned. The man returned, and he left. He was gone. She saw all of this, and went to his side. His eyes had finally opened, and then they had closed again. He didn't see her tears, but they came. He wanted to tell her why he had hurt her, but he couldn't. He didn't have to. She already knew. She knew that the last years she had hated him for nothing. He was doing it for her. He wouldn't want her to be sad now, but she couldn't help it. He was gone. The boy who had given her everything, the boy she had given everything too, the boy who had been the only one for her, the boy that she had been the only one for. He was everything to her. Now everything was gone.
Their fairytale never had a happy ending. It was never meant to.
That man destroyed it all.
Their fairytale never had a happy ending. It was never meant to.
That man destroyed it all.
Friday, November 12, 2010
I miss you...
I wish I hadn't fucked everything up.
I still love you.
Do you still love me?
I know you did.
I hate myself for doubting you.
I wish I coul dhave you back again.
Did you really mean what you said?
Are you really going to try to make things better?
Please do it?
Please help me?
I can't go on without you.
You were everything
Then you were gone.
What did I do?
What can I do?
I miss you.
I wanted to hurt you like this for so long
now I can't stand it.
Am I even hurting you?
I hope I'm not.
Please tell me I'm not?
Not that you tell me anything anymore.
It's been one month since we last spoke.
But you're gone.
Is there any chance of you coming back?
Please say there is.
Please...
I'm crying now.
Because I hurt you.
I said all those things.
Don't you know I didn't mean it?
Don't you know I was just pissed off?
It wasn't at you, though. It never was.
You were just there.
It was easy for me to take it out on you.
It always has been.
But if you came back I swear to god
I will never hurt you again
I will never lie to you again
I will never say those things again
I swear to god I won't!
Please believe me?
Please come back?
I fucking miss you.
Will you realize this is for you?
Or will you think it's just another one of my love-struck ramblings about him?
It's not.
It's for you, my dear.
Because I love you more than him.
I always have.
I always will.
You should just know that you're amazing.
You should know that I can't live without you.
You should know that everything I said that day was a lie.
You should know I never felt that way.
once you told me "without you, my life would be so much worse. You are one of my best friends and should anything like that happen to you I may not be able to go on"
Can't that still be true?
I miss being a part of you.
I miss talking to you everyday.
I miss having you a part of my life.
I miss you.
I miss you so much.
It hurts so badly.
I can't stop crying.
Why?
I love you.
I always have.
I always will.
I promise.
I still love you.
Do you still love me?
I know you did.
I hate myself for doubting you.
I wish I coul dhave you back again.
Did you really mean what you said?
Are you really going to try to make things better?
Please do it?
Please help me?
I can't go on without you.
You were everything
Then you were gone.
What did I do?
What can I do?
I miss you.
I wanted to hurt you like this for so long
now I can't stand it.
Am I even hurting you?
I hope I'm not.
Please tell me I'm not?
Not that you tell me anything anymore.
It's been one month since we last spoke.
But you're gone.
Is there any chance of you coming back?
Please say there is.
Please...
I'm crying now.
Because I hurt you.
I said all those things.
Don't you know I didn't mean it?
Don't you know I was just pissed off?
It wasn't at you, though. It never was.
You were just there.
It was easy for me to take it out on you.
It always has been.
But if you came back I swear to god
I will never hurt you again
I will never lie to you again
I will never say those things again
I swear to god I won't!
Please believe me?
Please come back?
I fucking miss you.
Will you realize this is for you?
Or will you think it's just another one of my love-struck ramblings about him?
It's not.
It's for you, my dear.
Because I love you more than him.
I always have.
I always will.
You should just know that you're amazing.
You should know that I can't live without you.
You should know that everything I said that day was a lie.
You should know I never felt that way.
once you told me "without you, my life would be so much worse. You are one of my best friends and should anything like that happen to you I may not be able to go on"
Can't that still be true?
I miss being a part of you.
I miss talking to you everyday.
I miss having you a part of my life.
I miss you.
I miss you so much.
It hurts so badly.
I can't stop crying.
Why?
I love you.
I always have.
I always will.
I promise.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
OK Go - Get Over It
Is Damien Kulash (the lead singer) not yummy as hell?
Plus, I've been wanting to say the message of this song to quite a few people.
GET OVER IT!
I'll post the rest of the drama when I'm not so pressed for time
Lots of love!
Eat cake!
fly!
ittyK
Wrockstock
Day one: I flew down to Saint Louis with Daisy and her family. After we checked into our hotel which was totally awesome (IT HAD AN OLD FASHIONED POPCORN MAKER IN THE LOBBY!!!) And then we went to a library concert which was very super fun. :)Then I went to sleep. ^^
Day two: We drove down to Potosi and chilled at the Trout Lodge and made friends and such :) Then there were three more bands that played so I danced and sang a shit-ton and such :)
Day three: There was hardly a break between concerts. It was sooo much fun! After the final concert ended at about 10:30 there was a dance party and it was super fun! I was singing and dancing nonstop so by the end my voice was completely gone and my feet felt like they were going to fall off. I ended up going back to the room around 2:30.
Day four: losing my voice the previous day wasn't a good idea. I had to perform on Sunday and I was like... croaking. haha but I think people had fun anyways. We made them all dance ^^ And we got a most enthusiastic band prize. 'Twas fun! there were even more concerts then... and I lost my voice even more. Then we had a bonfire and it was sooo fun! I drank a tiny bit, but not enough for anyone to notice. So it was okay :)
Day five: I said goodbye to everyone, drove back to Saint Louis and flew home. THE END!
haha it was a superfabulous weekend. That was last weekend, by the way.
So, when I got back to school on Tuesday (sad face) people started pissing me off. but more on that later, cuz the bell just rang.
eat cake!
fly!
ittyK
Day two: We drove down to Potosi and chilled at the Trout Lodge and made friends and such :) Then there were three more bands that played so I danced and sang a shit-ton and such :)
Day three: There was hardly a break between concerts. It was sooo much fun! After the final concert ended at about 10:30 there was a dance party and it was super fun! I was singing and dancing nonstop so by the end my voice was completely gone and my feet felt like they were going to fall off. I ended up going back to the room around 2:30.
Day four: losing my voice the previous day wasn't a good idea. I had to perform on Sunday and I was like... croaking. haha but I think people had fun anyways. We made them all dance ^^ And we got a most enthusiastic band prize. 'Twas fun! there were even more concerts then... and I lost my voice even more. Then we had a bonfire and it was sooo fun! I drank a tiny bit, but not enough for anyone to notice. So it was okay :)
Day five: I said goodbye to everyone, drove back to Saint Louis and flew home. THE END!
haha it was a superfabulous weekend. That was last weekend, by the way.
So, when I got back to school on Tuesday (sad face) people started pissing me off. but more on that later, cuz the bell just rang.
eat cake!
fly!
ittyK
Monday, November 1, 2010
Bleach
It isn't over yet!!! YES!!! haha...
I am not actually in a good mood. I want to bitch someone out. I want to get in a fight and beat the shit out of someone either verbally or physically. FUCK! who can I scream at? Who can I hurt? Nobody. FUCK!!!! I wanna get high and forget about life. I wanna forget about everything. I need to let all this shit go and start over.
I came here to forget and start over. Where can I run to now? Where can I hide? Shit....
This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. But nothing ever really works anymore. I was forced to say goodbye so many times and I just can't take it anymore. Everyone ends up going away in the end. I need to accept that and move on. But I can't. I never could. I'm too fucking weak! I've always been too weak and it will never change. I hate myself for it. I hate my self for changing. I hate myself for forgiving. I hate myself for accepting you. I hate myself for letting you go. Above all, I hate myself for hating you. I hate how weak I am. I hate how understanding I am. I hate how forgiving I am. I hate how caring I am. I hate everything about me! I'm my own worst enemy. I can't live with all this shit I've done but I have to. I can't take myself away from you like that. I can't give up like that. I can't hurt you like that again.
I can't say goodbye.
I just think you should know that I love him and you are amazing. I miss so you so much and I want you back. Would you come back if I asked? Probably not. You seem happier without me, but that's okay. I just can't stop thinking about how happy we were. How safe I felt in his arms. Nothing could touch me. Then he was gone. You just left me. Why? Don't you know I love you? Come back, god dammit!
Fuck you... You broke my heart. I trusted you and you broke my heart. Why would you do that to me? Why would he do that to me? I love him.... No, it is not past tense. Yes, it still remains true. I love you. Can they hear me? I will say it louder. I LOVE YOU!
Wait... Why are they turning away? What did I do?
Why am I all alone again?
:(!!!!
I am not actually in a good mood. I want to bitch someone out. I want to get in a fight and beat the shit out of someone either verbally or physically. FUCK! who can I scream at? Who can I hurt? Nobody. FUCK!!!! I wanna get high and forget about life. I wanna forget about everything. I need to let all this shit go and start over.
I came here to forget and start over. Where can I run to now? Where can I hide? Shit....
This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. But nothing ever really works anymore. I was forced to say goodbye so many times and I just can't take it anymore. Everyone ends up going away in the end. I need to accept that and move on. But I can't. I never could. I'm too fucking weak! I've always been too weak and it will never change. I hate myself for it. I hate my self for changing. I hate myself for forgiving. I hate myself for accepting you. I hate myself for letting you go. Above all, I hate myself for hating you. I hate how weak I am. I hate how understanding I am. I hate how forgiving I am. I hate how caring I am. I hate everything about me! I'm my own worst enemy. I can't live with all this shit I've done but I have to. I can't take myself away from you like that. I can't give up like that. I can't hurt you like that again.
I can't say goodbye.
I just think you should know that I love him and you are amazing. I miss so you so much and I want you back. Would you come back if I asked? Probably not. You seem happier without me, but that's okay. I just can't stop thinking about how happy we were. How safe I felt in his arms. Nothing could touch me. Then he was gone. You just left me. Why? Don't you know I love you? Come back, god dammit!
Fuck you... You broke my heart. I trusted you and you broke my heart. Why would you do that to me? Why would he do that to me? I love him.... No, it is not past tense. Yes, it still remains true. I love you. Can they hear me? I will say it louder. I LOVE YOU!
Wait... Why are they turning away? What did I do?
Why am I all alone again?
:(!!!!
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